The excess of life

Round and round

2009-02-22T11:09:00.005-07:00

Mood: Thoughtful

Listening to: Bliss by Rob Costlow

Reading: Sabriel, Lost Worlds, Keeping it Real

Watching: Elfen Lied, Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 6!

Playing: Piano, hah.

Eating: Gum, if you want to consider that eating

Drinking: Nothing at the moment, but a really good tea is 'Angel Mist Falls'.

Significance of Title:

Quote of the day: "And at springtide, when the apple-blossoms brush the burnished bosom of the dove,Two young lovers lying in an orchard would have read the story of our love."-Oscar Wilde

Promotions: Carl Gustav Jung...some amazing ideas.

Once you realize It, nobody and nothing is seen the same through one's eyes. Its rather ridiculous how greatly the world changes when It is realized. And the sad thing is, its not the world that changes, it's how you see it. Then, the only people you will ever feel right around again are those who know -- and those are far and few. Even worse, once you know you realize that you can't do anything because you can. That is when the looping starts. Around and around you go...Weeeeeeeeeeee. You realize that everything you do has no point, because it doesnt really exist. But you do it anyway because it has no point. Its liberating, but it is like being locked in a white padded room with a tiny rectangular window on the door allowing you to see the world outside but them not to see you. You then see things that you wouldnt have usually seen. You notice the small things. You notice the hidden secrets and the flashes of reality that people show on their faces. You pick up on hints out of media that you wouldnt have thought anything of before. I feel sorry for anyone who knows that doesnt have someone else that knows with them. That would be the worst. I can see how people would commit suicide or go crazy if they knew. Sometimes I wonder the same about myself. What is real? Nothing. What is fake? Nothing. Now that's a concept.

Wow. Basically, the world is so screwed up I dont know if there is any going back. I think this is part of a cycle, and it will end, and start again, and humans won't have learned anything. We will all die and come back and do it all over again.

So I probably won't be writing here anymore. There really isnt much point. A) Nobody reads it anyway, and B) Most people wont understand anyway. Its like a cryptic language that only a few people can make out.

I hope I'm wrong, but I doubt it.

Well, I guess thats all.

Love always,

Indi.

No Expression

2009-01-22T09:19:00.003-07:00

Huh. Its been interesting. So much has happened. I suppose there's a lot of explaining to do.

Well, I rather fell off the edge of the world. I just stopped posting. Infact I stopped a lot of things. Not sure why. But I did start a different blog on piczo...I liked the music video idea haha. I'll post the link to there here. But not now since I'm stuck at my school library with limited access to websites. I'm lucky I got on here!

In the past few months I found out A LOT about myself. Like I have S.A.D. And that I want to be a criminal psychologist. Or work with mentally "unstable" people. I cant remember where I put it, but a while ago I had said that I knew who I was. I also figured out recently that it is impossible to know who you are. As long as you realize that you are always changing then you can know who you are. Outside influences and personal decisions will always change who you are. I also have a REALLY bad memory. Its upsetting.

Anyhow, I dont want to get into all the dirty details, but a lot has happened lately. Up's and Down's. In's and Out's. But funny thing, through everything thats happened, I'm only back at square one. Which is okay by me, I mean, I was happy at square one. I'm not so sure my friends will feel the same way though.

Wow. I just looked up. My school is really ghetto. Over 100 years old, all that jazz. I'm in one of the newer sections right now. One of the windows in the corner is really high up and they have chains on them. But the sun is shining in at the perfect angle. Its absolutely gorgeous right now. Wow. Enlightenment in the slightest of ways.

I was asked a question yesterday. If I had one wish (goal) what is it? The only answer I could give was for the world to stop trying to be something we are so obviously not. The world, and each individual. How to get there, now thats a wonderful question. I stayed home yesterday, on exam break with nothing to do (finally!). I realized why I missed being alone so much. Because when I am I dont have to pretend or feel like I have to be what everyone is expecting. I can be however I want to be in that moment. I could go through a mental break down and be normal again before anyone would know it. It is pure freedom and liberation, even within the same place I am for a period of time every day. But everything changes when you're alone.

One of the things I did yesterday was read Midnight Sun, or the portion of it that so unfortunately got distributed. Poor Stephenie Meyer. She didnt deserve that. But I wish she would finish it. She is doing such a good job already. Just because one person decided to be stupid about it doesn't mean that everyone should get punished. Edward is kind of annoying though. I know a lot of people are going to hate me for saying it. I mean, yeah sure he's deep and poetic, but he's kind of a selfish jerk. I find the books rather juvenile. I like them, but they are really easy reads. I think I would have enjoyed it more if they were more challenging and the characters were less ...what's the word?... trivial. They are amazing character ideas, don't get me wrong. But I think they would have been stronger if they were less juvenile, less whiny. Unfortunately though, a lot of people are really like that in real life. So I can't ask for much. I really did enjoy Midnight Sun though. The struggles you could see him going through were so good. And some of the paragraphs still took my breathe away. Please finish it Stephenie. I think it would make a lot of people happy, and I'm sure it would feel a lot better to just get it done. =)

But I am going to go read some Jungian Psychology. I shall write again later.

PS. OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE I ALMOST FORGOT!! I got a piano. A black Kawai stand-up. YAY! Heh...anyway.

I love you

2008-07-22T17:08:00.000-06:00

Mina Rakkastan Sinua...with all my heart.

I'm BAACCCKKK!!!

2008-07-19T19:52:00.003-06:00

Mood: Wow!!
Listening to: Piano Concerto no. 2 - adagio sostenuto by Rachmaninoff
Reading: Offspring and Ralph Waldo Emerson's poems =D
Watching: Nothing, yet.
Playing: Nothing.
Eating: Nada
Drinking: Nada here neither! XD
Significance of Title: Well, I disappeared for about a month or two, and now I'm back. I apologize, I've been too busy for anybodies good.
Quote of the day: When the redbird spread his sable wing, And showed his side of flame; When the rosebud ripened to the rose, In both I read thy name.
Promotions: LOL TD Summer Reading Program at YOUR LIBRARY!

Yeah, so I don't have all that much time, since my computer has completely crashed -- I cant even turn it on - so I am stuck using my fathers. If you have been keeping track of my blog you will know that he does nothing but play WoW...which requires his computer, so he's getting rather angry that I'm taking up his time. So I will try to be brief.

Basically I've been working for the last 15 days, and I have 5 more to go. I've been working TONS at the library and volunteering at the hospital. The volunteering is an interesting position. I love it but it's hard to get myself wanting to go there the morning of, until of course I get there and then I'm all pumped again. I definitely recommend volunteering at a hospital, but not for the weak stomached. Ha Ha.

I have most recently met a poet/playwright whom I seem to get a long with very well. Hopefully that will turn into a good relationship.

I have also become very good friends with a fellow employee. We seem to be nearly identical at times, by personality and interests. However we do have our differences, of course.

I'm stuck in a pickle...with no regards to any of the previous paragraphs. However, I will not go into detail here. -gives a sly smile-

One of my best friends seems to have fallen off the edge of the planet. She found this astonishing place in Egypt while on a trip. A place in the desert that seems to have never before been 'discovered', meaning nobody has survived enough to tell anyone else. She was there for a few months, came back for about...48 hours, and left again at 2 in the morning. She has now been there for a few weeks...she left her boyfriend behind. Now that's a big deal. Him and her are perfect for each other. They have been best friends for their whole lives, and have been in a relationship for years. Its painful to see her be so detached. But something is definitely going on there that I don't know about, in Egypt that is. I'm just worried about her is all.

I'm being stalked by a thirteen year old female serial killer. Yikes. Long story that I'm not actually aloud to say on here for confidentiality reasons...basically she's cracked. And she hates me for absolutely no reason that anyone other than her is aware of.

I've been doing TONS of reading, drawing, writing, painting (finally!!! =D) and am loving it.

As you may know, I have two poems published in two books. I was supposed to go to this conference in Las Vegas over the summer for it, but am unable as I am underage and don't have parental permission or money. No parental permission since they don't know about the whole being published thing, long story that I cant remember if I posted it or not...hmm....anyway I was supposed to do a live reading and receive a plaque etc. but that will not be happening. I'm disappointed about that.

As usual, I have spent too much money on books. I have got to stop doing that...

I have found an amazing version of "The Portrait" song from Titanic played on piano. I still get the shivers every time I hear it, even after listening to it for an hour and a half straight one day. That tells you how amazing it is.

Also, I have a new favorite CD. Titled: Diamonds, elegant classics. Its a compilation of classical music, that is just amazingly wonderful. -melts-

Yes so my mind seems to have run back to that pickle...Oh well. Still not saying anything about it.

I'm fairly upset. My friend who wrote me a piano song for valentines day seems to have also fallen off the edge of the earth. I really miss him. I know he probably wants nothing to do with me, but I really do miss him. I hope he will understand one day...

Last, but not least, I have been keeping a journal now. SCREW COMPUTERS!!!!! And have been putting most of my writing and thoughts and all in there. Since my computer crashed I have lost most of my novel, many other written works, all my pictures, poems, etc. I am very upset. Every time I think about it I am brought to tears. So enough of that. I may post some writing at some point, but with that new act coming through about Internet 'stealing' policies we shall have to see.

Well that's all for now. TTFN!!

Love you all, & miss you!!
Laura <3

2008-05-27T10:43:00.002-06:00

This cracked me right up! It is a picture done by *jollyjack.

It is amazing, he has some very very funny ones, and he is so talented!

Make sure you take a look at his page, I must say it is astonishing!

call me by your name

2008-05-27T08:24:00.006-06:00

Mood: Eh.

Listening to: Britain's Got Talent 2008, Hildegard Von Bingen

Reading: Call Me By Your Name by Andre Aciman

Watching: The Librarian

Playing: Nothing.

Eating: Nothing, yet.

Drinking: Water and Gingerale

Significance of Title: The book I'm reading, which is amazing! I havent gotten to the part where the title becomes apart of the story yet, but I will soon I hope!

Quote of the day: Amor ch'a null'amato amar perdona. Love, which exempts no one who's loved from loving.

Promotions: Elton John is coming to town!!! =D And I have tickets!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4yY82owm7Ps

Wow, lots has happened lately. Everytime I sit down to start writing something comes up that is desperate that needs to get done NOW. So now I'm home sick...wore myself out I presume. Atleast I have time now to catch up on life. So lets get started!

Last thursday was a nightmare! Well not really, it was really awesome. I had three things to do on different sides of the city at the same time. I had a soccer game, grad, and volunteer orientation. Luckily the soccer game was cancelled because of the rain. My school band played for the grade 12 grad and it was amazing. I didnt know I knew so many people in grade 12! It will be so sad to see them leave! Ofcourse we played Pomp And Circumstance, Loch Lomond, and O Canada. While I was waiting for my mother to come pick me up after that I saw one of my best friends whom I have not seen in months. I was so happy I was crying! Oh, tears of joy. I havent ever been so happy in my life! So after grad I went over to the hospital for my volunteer orientation. There were 5 of us in total, not including the coordinator. Four females and one male. Only the male and I really seemed to care at all. The other three girls seemed to be there because they had to, not because they wanted to. I got a lot out of it, and being the only one who answered any questions or asked any of my own I probably was one of the only ones. I get to start the four positions they gave me in the summer. Every Wednesday I will be going to the hospital for a full day volunteer shift. I'm really excited. I get to talk to the patients, do book cart rounds, meet and greet and do office work along with anything they tell me. It should be very interesting. Its definitely going to be a life experiance, and a great chance to help people, even in the slightest of ways.

In the paragraph before I mentioned soccer. My team is in second place in the city! Possibly first actually, since there was a game that decided that yesterday but I missed it, so I dont know if we won or not! UGH! I hate being sick. This week is finals so I really hope we did win yesterday. If so then we play on Wednesday, but if not we play today. Hmm...I'm rather curious now. Needless to say, we are doing very well!

Speaking of doing very well, I got a letter in the mail yesterday stating that I got an award at my school and need to be there next Wednesday night to recieve it! How exciting, I dont even know what it is! Also, I reached one of my life goals. If you've ever seen August Rush it has to do with hearing the music in everything. Anyone can hear the music everywhere if they try, but I have opened my mind and soul enough to feel it everywhere. That has been a goal of mine since I was old enough to understand it. I finally accomplished it, sitting by a pond listening to the birds, insects, amphibeans. I'm so happy it finally worked, and now I am able to calm myself at any given moment and feel the music. :)

Oh yes, I have finally watched August Rush! Its so good! I loved the characters and music and plot, just wow. Definitely reccomend it! I also finished reading The Time Travelers Wife. Its amazing, an absolutely gorgeous story. It may be a huge book, but its very well written and you cant help but keep reading because there's so many catches!

Last weekend I (finally!) got The Complete Shakespeare leatherbound edition in the mail. Its over 1000 pages long, and I cant wait to start reading it. I am so happy it finally came! I got it for $20! How great of a deal is that!?

The song I was writing with my friend for our band project is almost complete. She went to Toronto for a week and a bit so we didnt get to work on it, but it is still coming along. I'm quite excited for it to be complete. One of my friends listened to it and said that it soudns like elevator music...I HOPE NOT!

On the topic of music, I have convinced my parents to let me take either violin or cello lessons next year! I'm so excited! I've wanted to learn one of those instruments for years, and now I finally get the chance!

As well, next year I will be taking ballroom dancing lessons with a very close friend of mine. We can't quite decide which type yet, but it should prove as interesting. I think we will go through Arthur Murray Dance Studios But it is way more expensive for beginners -- $351.00 (not sure if this is per person or not). Whereas Footnotes Dance Studio classes for beginners is $145.00/person. We shall see. The program at footnotes focuses on the four most common social dances, waltz, foxtrot, jive and rumba.

For the summer program coordinator job I have at the library, all us coordinators have decided that we should go out and buy costumes for the different events. It will be so much fun! One of the events we will be doing is a magic show. I am going to be one of the helpers so I get to wear a really snazzy outfit, with a mask, feathery hat, etc. Whatever I can find.

A recent social project I got was to watch a movie and then do a project about it -- with regards to anything. I decided to create a board game. It is a lot of fun trying to build it and make it work, so all the rules and everything add up. Its quite the challenge but is very interesting.

I am going to end off this blog entry with a rather upsetting story, so if you arent in the mood then you can stop reading now. Here goes:

About two weeks ago, my best friend and I went on a walk. We went past some cathedrals that we absolutely love, that we have gone past many times. There was a group of men moving boxes out of the churches basement into a vehicle. We didnt think much of it. We kept walking past them and the one guy reached out and nearly grabbed my friend. He started calling out to us, and when we didnt respond he got angry. He started calling us names that normally wouldnt affect people, but in a situation such as this it really did. We thought we were going to get raped for sure. Needless to say we learned our lesson -- Dont go on walks without a big man with you that you know well, a friend or something. Ever since then we havent gone anywhere alone. It was very frightening and I cant believe that it happened outside a church!

Anyhow, I'm off now. Going to go make soup and watch a movie. Woopie!

Hope your all doing well!
Love,
Laura! <3

Composing the Rythm of Life

2008-04-20T22:28:00.002-06:00

Mood: Absolutely Ecstatic!

Listening to: Costa Del by Emma and Laura =D

Reading: Thirty Nights with a Highland Husband, Every Canadians Guide the the Law, Helen of Troy, Science as a Candle in the Dark, The Time Travelers Wife.

Watching: Three different love stories, Conquest of America.

Playing: Nottin' hunny!

Eating: Nothing, but dreaming...I'm hungry

Drinking: Water, again.

Significance of Title:

Quote of the day: "You are really going to go places."

Promotions: Sarah Brightman's new CD called Symphony. Absolutely astonishing!

This past week has been freakishly busy! It was my birthday on Thursday so my week was basically planned around that. Thursday was probably the best day ever! I have a spare during second period so my friend and I went to these cathedrals that I've wanted to go to forever! They were absolutely amazing. I got a lot of really great pictures and the architecture was fantastic! During spare my friend and I were inside the cathedral grounds and a cop drove by. Apparently he thought we were doing something we shouldn't be doing or something because he followed us around in his vehicle for about an hour. We visited two different cathedrals and then went to a park and played, and the whole time he was following us. It was hilarious because we weren't doing anything we shouldn't be so it was quite the event. At the park I climbed a tree, that was so much fun! My friend thought I was going to fall off and crack my head open, she was freaking out, but I made her take a picture and it was so much fun. After the park we went to macs because we were both craving a Slurpee. Yummy. While having our Slurpee's and candy we went and sat in a big field by our school and watched boys skateboard. Definitely classified as the best spare I've ever had.

Then at lunch a bunch of friends and I went to the Chinese Bakery and got a mango cake. It tasted so good! We all split it. Once we bought it we brought it back to the school and put sparklers and a big question mark candle in the middle and lit them in the cafeteria. It was so funny because we were late for class but we had to make sure the candles went out before we left so everyone literally grabbed handfuls of the cake and ran to class. It was so much fun!

Skipping back to the morning, I am part of the early morning dance class. None of my friends from that class attended and I couldn't figure out why. After class I walk back to my locker. Now my locker is located in one of the main hallways so it is huge and crowded. As soon as I walk in the doors to the hallway I hear singing. A bunch of my friends are outside my decorated locker singing happy birthday at the top of their lungs! They must've sang about 7 different songs by the time they were done, and it was so embarrassing! They decorated my locker with a bunch of papers with their comments and some of my best guy friends photo's that he's taken that I'm in love with. It turns out I get to keep them and they are amazing! I nearly cried, I was so happy! Throughout the entire day I got sang to 15 times! It was so much fun.

The guy that has the amazing pictures got told by my best friend to give me a birthday kiss. SO NOT EXPECTED! So at the end of the school day as he was waiting for his bus we were talking. When he said it was time for him to go he gave me a hug, whispered "and..." and kissed me! I blushed and looked away. It turns out that him and the friend that told him to do that made a bet that I wouldn't blush, so now he owes my best friend $10. How funny is that? I'm alright with being sold out if its going to be that funny. He was claiming that I didn't blush, but that was still funny. It wasn't a full blown kiss or anything either, just a peck but it was so unexpected I didn't know how to react. As he turned and walked out the doors I just told him to have a good weekend since I pulled the biggest blank ever! Oh man, at least it didn't make anything awkward, we are still best friends, thank goodness. I don't know what I'd do without him!

After that my mom picked me up and took me back to her work to get ready for dinner. We went to La Ronde, a restaurant that spins and is really expensive. It was so nice, I got to wear my new dress! I had Pork Tenderloin Medallions, they were absolutely delicious! The view from way up in the restaurant was amazing, of the Edmonton river valley. So nice, definitely something I would not be able fathom without experience. Thanks Mom and Dad! (They did the dinner instead of a car, after all it is my sweet 16)!

Then on Friday it was the day we celebrated my best friends birthday, her sweet 16 as well. Her actual B-day was on Saturday, but since there's no school we decided to celebrate on Friday instead. We are still celebrating on Monday though since most people didn't get the memo about Friday.

So on Friday night three of my friends and I went to dinner and a movie. We went to The Crepery, totally not expecting it to be so fancy as we were wearing our backpacks and school clothes but oh well. It tasted amazing I had the Crepe Cordon Bleu. My favorite! After that we went to see "21" again, both my best friend and I had already gone to see it but loved it so much that we knew we had to take our other friends to go see it as well. They loved it just as much as we did! I got a lot of pictures of my friends and I, and it was definitely worth it!

So my best friend who's B-day is two days away from mine and I are planning a fundraiser for our party. It is going to be in support of the Edmonton Emergency Teen Centre. It will be a dinner dance held at our school. The dinner will be $5, along with $2 for the dance. They guests are only allowed in if they are on the list as it is a closed invitation. You never know who would show up looking for a party. The guests are aloud to bring donations of money or items like clothes, toothbrushes, deodorant, hairbrushes etc for the centre. I'm so excited for it, I'm hoping it will turn out well. But if that doesn't work then we will have a bunch of friends out for a sleepover at a camp. We will rent the dorms and the pool and have a total blowout! Either way it will be absolutely awesome.

Good news! I got accepted onto my school's soccer team as goalie! I'm so happy! I worked so hard for that, going to every tryout day and now every practise. I'm really hoping we will make it to finals this year! Also I basically got handed the Summer Program Coordinator job that I applied for at the library. The only way I wont get in is if the grant doesn't go through, but I'm betting it will. I'll find out for sure today...nervous!

I have just found my dream house. If you go to http://www.ultimateplans.com/ and type in the code #131032 in the search box you'll see it. It is absolutely gorgeous, everything I could ask for. I'm thinking it would have to be in BC if it was to be in Canada so there is lots of trees and lush plants. The moment I saw it my heart shattered, it is amazing. I am definitely going to have to start saving my money though.

Also, last night I found the type of dog I would like. They are called Weimaraner, and are very cute dogs. Apparently very intelligent and obedient. Perfect for me since I've never had a dog before so I'd need one that would be calmer and not so hyper and demanding.

So I have a bunch of school projects coming up soon. One is a band project. My friend and I are composing a song of the Latin genre. It sounds so good so far. I'll have to put it on you tube when its done and post a link here. I happen to think that is is rather well done so far, especially since its not edited properly yet. Talk about not being able to wait until it is complete!

Since November I've sponsored a child through World Vision. Her name is Rabia and she is from Mint Degui in Mauritania. One of the school projects is to find the quality of life for a certain area, and of course I chose Mauritania. They don't have the same quality of life as America for sure, but they are definitely making progress. Its sad to see some of the statistics though, there are so many that are just devastating. If I'm ever rich it will be so hard to decide who to give the money to!

Recently, I have decided that I should probably know French, even if its just the basics. I don't have enough time to sign up for any more classes so I am teaching myself. Its not that hard to teach yourself actually, as long as you know what to do. Working at the library as I do makes finding resources fairly easy so that's a big help. In the meantime I am also teaching myself Italian and making sure I don't forget Japanese. Should be pretty easy to do -- sarcasm. Oh well, I'm having a lot of fun with it, so I cant complain!

Well I hope you all are having a wonderful time, and not forgetting to have some fun!

Love Always,
Laura <3

PS I just found out that my parents are going to let me go to Europe next summer!!! I'm SO EXCITED! The only downside is that I have to pay for it myself, but I'm ok with that if I get to go! YAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

Broken Hearts Tear Others Apart

2008-04-02T22:15:00.005-06:00

Mood: Torn, yet overjoyed...try figuring that out for yourself.

Listening to: Shan Hu Hai by Jay Chou

Reading: Stuff on the Middle Ages, Helen of Troy by Margaret George, Sweet Far Thing by Libba Bray

Watching: Afterlife, Memoirs of a Geisha

Playing: Nadda

Eating: Just finished some Chicken and Dumplings =D

Drinking: Water, as usual.

Significance of Title: Its just true. Not really wanting to expand on that at the moment.

Quote of the day: "There's something I can promise you...I'll come back to you."

Promotions: Marie Digby -- an amazing singer who is just starting out, but is still amazing.

http://ana-lyn.deviantart.com/ -- An amazing artist!

Wishes: That life would hurry up and sort this thing out! I don't know how much more my heart can take!

Oh if love were only as easy as the picture above. Ever After, the title of the picture, is absolutely a fairy tale. If love were that easy nobody would have broken hearts. If love was always happy, then the world would probably be a much better place. But unfortunately love is isn't always easy or happy. There are ups and downs to everything, even the best thing possible. The picture should be titled, "Ever After, the timely ending".

Update! I'm writing a novel about a girl who lives in Britain, stows away on a ship to Ireland and encounters a bunch of magic and fairy tale type adventures. I'm really excited, but its taking a lot of research and work so I'm betting its going to take a long time to write. Also, I had entered a contest on poetry.com with the poem I posted on Monday, February 25, 2008. I won semi-finals and am about to get it published in Immortal Verses, an anthology of poetry published by poetry.com. I'm not too sure if I should trust this or not. I'm getting different opinions from everyone I ask, so I don't know what to do! I'm also writing another poem called "Young Eyes". Its not yet complete so I'm not going to put it on here, but one day soon I will.

I found a piece of artwork earlier today that I seem to be very indecisive about. It reads "Warning: Trespassers Will Be Prostituted". At first I laughed, but then once I got thinking about it I realised the full potential of that. What if it actually happened? It is definitely dark humor.

I've really been working on my drawing skills, and am not too sure where I'm at, but its definitely getting better. A few days ago I drew a picture of a girl in an old fashioned dress, and it actually turned out so that you could tell the style of the dress and all the details. Needless to say, I'm fairly proud of myself. Ha ha.

I seem to have a million ideas for photo's I would quite like to take, but the issue being that I have no models. A major need for taking photographs. Harrumph. I don't know what to do, and I highly doubt that anybody I know would like to pose half naked for me, let alone anyone else. There are a few people I could convince, but not many. Not all the photo's would be nude either, but I have some amazing ideas that I've run through with an amazing person and they agree that they would be very expressive and emotive and that I should definitely try to do them. I may go to a school for the performing and visual arts, the problem with that is that they all DO the work, not model for it. There is a female in Ireland whom I would love to pose for me, and a male in Asia somewhere, but those are very far away and I doubt they would want to travel half way across the world for a beginner photographer. Oh well, one day I may be able to take the photo's, one day.

I have decided I would quite like to take up the violin, but am quite afraid that I would make my parents deaf in the first few months/years of practising. So that idea was shot right out the window within moments of it leaving my mouth. Any suggestions?

In fifteen days I'm going to be sweet sixteen! I'm so excited, yet worried. I haven't chosen anything to do yet, so my parents made a deal with me. If I didn't choose something by Monday (two days ago) then they would do what they are planning. I don't know what they are planning and I've never had a surprise birthday party before. So I decided that I wanted to be sent to Europe for a while over the summer. I could stay with my uncle! But no, that wouldn't be aloud. So now I'm stuck with whatever they are planning, and I'm kind of scared. My parents have some wacky crazy ideas, so we shall have to see.

Just recently I started reading Helen of Troy by Margaret George. It is a very good book and I cant seem to put it down. I'm excited to read it and find out what happens! I've also been loaned from friends three different books. I need to be doing a lot more reading than I am so I can get all these books done! Any idea where I'm going to get the time!?

The last couple days have proven as very intuitive for me. I found a musician whom I absolutely love. Her name is Eileen Ivers and she plays an amazing Celtic Fiddle/Violin. She is coming to a theatre near me and I desperately want to go, but am not sure if I'll be able to get tickets or not seeing as I don't have any money and I only get paid this weekend. We shall have to wait and see, but you should definitely check her out!

Subject change! Tomorrow I have a major dance competition. I am supposed to have my hair be in tight ringlets and am not sure how I'm going to go about doing that. My mom has decided that tomorrow we are going to go out and try on a wig and possibly buy it for a price of $70 instead of having to do my hair. I have three competitions, a recital and pictured with hair like this, so I suppose by the time we do my hair for all of them and buy all the products, etc. It will be less expensive and a major save of time to just get the wig. It should be a very interesting shopping trip!

On Monday I went shopping with a really good friend and it was so much fun! I ended up blowing $300 on clothes, but they are all amazing! I spent the most money on an amazing pair of shoes, and secondly on a very pretty dress. The dress is a Burgundy, red, brown color with an indescribable fit. I'll have to take a picture of it and post it on here, but I must say I love it! I also found my wedding dress and a Halloween costume. It was an amazing day. I then had a sleepover at her house and that was a lot of fun. We saw the movie 21 and both loved it! We decided that we are going to start counting cards, see where it can get us!

I seem to be at quite the loss. I have no idea what I'm going to do for the mythology club on Tuesday...and nobody that is involved in the club seems to have any contribution what-so-ever. So I'm stuck in a rut and nobody seems to be able to help pull me out. I'm thinking its going to relate to Zeus, Medusa, Epimethius or Prometheus, just because we've introduced them so it would take a lot less effort on my part and theirs, and we all know that the first week or so after spring break everyone is a mess. We shall see...

Today I started picking up some old role-plays my friend and I were doing a few months ago. If I may say so myself, they are very good stories. I'm just wondering if my friend will be willing to work on them or not, because I think they could definitely go somewhere! You can find them at http://groups.msn.com/demonslair if your interested! Thanks!

There is a person I know whom I cant seem to stay away from. They are the nicest, most thoughtful, kind, fun, romantic person I know. And they actually get me, unlike all other people. I get them and they get me and it is amazing. We aren't a couple by the way, just really good friends. They say the sweetest, most romantic, serious things ever! It is almost like we live in a fairytale when they say these things. On top of that, they are very cuddly so it is a bonus. They can lift my spirits whenever I'm down and always know just what to say. They are the one that said my Quote of the Day today. You see, they are moving away for three years for certain, in 5 months from now. I think my heart will be torn out when they leave, I'm not sure how I will be able to function without them, but it is something they must do as their mother has cancer and may or may not last much longer. It is absolutely understandable why they are leaving to go live with her, but it will still be hard for both of us. I'm all for them going though, their family needs them. So if they are reading this, I will be there for you no matter what, and you better come back to me one day, because if you don't I'll come to you. Promise.

Well I'm off to bed now, big competition tomorrow!! Have a wonderful night and a wonderful April 3!

Love Always,

Laura <3>

Secrets hold bones

2008-03-24T14:44:00.004-06:00

Mood: Bleak
Listening to: Devil In Me by Kate Voegele
Reading: 18 different books, at the moment Uglies by Scott Westerfeld and Encyclopedia Horrifica by Joshua Gee
Watching: Spontaneous DNA, The Rapture, and The Rise to Fourth Density http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbewGohciYw&feature=related
Playing: Nothing here either...
Eating: Bubblicious gum =D
Drinking: Water and Hot apple cider, yummy
Significance of Title: People aren't telling me anything!!! Boyfriend, Best friends, other friends. Today isn't a very good day for talking to people apparently...
Quote of the day: ". . . the outlook for planet Earth seems pretty darn bleak." - Rush Button, T&D Columnist
Promotions: http://suzi9mm.deviantart.com/art/grand-piano-324981, http://lodzi.deviantart.com/art/Garden-of-Eden-55157333, http://artsiegrrl.deviantart.com/

Well I am rather upset. First off one of my best friends wouldn't tell me about her love life today, even though I had already figured it out. Secondly, my boyfriend said to me, "We are all going to die soon." "What are you talking about?" "Oh well on 12 December 2012 we are all going to die." "Details please?" "No I cant say. I don't want to scare you." Well here's a reality check: MY IMAGINATION THROWS EVERYTHING OUT OF PROPORTION SINCE I'M A WRITER! So I'm probably going to scare myself more so than the actual facts would! SHEESH! People need to learn that if they don't want to talk about something, to not bring it up at all!

Anyway, moving on...

Today I was going through my documents. I found a bunch of video's that I forgot I had. I'm happy, because they are really important to me. Yeah, I made them, well the one was made by a friend but I did the narration. One is called Broken Wings, I made this one all on my own. Its for a petition I once tried to start, a petition to save the world. http://youtube.com/watch?v=BRET6aVzerQ Here's the link. I realize it isn't that good, but keep in mind it is the first video I've ever made. The other one isn't mine to put up, but here's the link anyway. http://youtube.com/watch?v=N9Rx3fqRtLE&feature=PlayList&p=4D8394A27CDFDCC5&index=5 Now the narration on this is hard to hear since the sound is a little off, I don't have a very good computer so the recording was messed up. But otherwise I think its pretty well done, good job Dwain!

So I've don't some research today on 12/12/12. That's what happens when someone hints at something, then doesn't tell me. I figure it out anyway. So I figured out that the Mayan calendar ends on 12/21/12 meaning that this could be the end of the world. There are so many possibilities for the end of the world, but they are betting that 12/12/12 is going to be the very end. There will be no 2013 for humans. Kind of depressing yet not. While talking to my friend on the phone earlier, we decided that we would want to travel as much as possible right before the world ended. Then if the earth went up in flames we'd be on a plane, so we wouldn't get hit, but in order to save the world we would make everyone pee and let it out the back of the plane, putting out the fires. Ha ha, it might work you know! Its official, we are going to make a comic of that happening. Saving the world by peeing on everyone. Some anal retentive guy on the plane would be like "I hate the earth! Piss on you all!" And then just start peeing. Wow, we really are immature but it was funny as hell.

For a social project a friend and I are doing a poster on SARS. We are supposed to give professional quotes of people on whether they think it will turn into a pandemic or not, and if so how will it turn out. I got some random facts, and there are some very disturbing ones. Such as they suspect if it does turn into a pandemic there will be a 10% death rate. meaning that if everyone in the world gets SARS, that's approx. 6,660,092,348.6 people, then 666,092,348.6 people would DIE of a SARS infection. That is just sick.

On to happier topics, mythology club at my school is having the first official discussion time tomorrow at lunch. I'm so excited! I set up a whole large paper on Pandora's Box, figuring it was a good enough place to start, with all the introductions to the different 'characters' and their attitudes. There are a bunch of different versions of it so I included all those. If your ever curious as to what we are discussing or anything you can go to http://mythology101.wordpress.com/. Everything we cover is going to be on here, so take a look whenever you want!

On to entertainment...I was given a suggestion today to watch the movie 'Shutter' (2008). I read some reviews on it and apparently its a lot like the grudge, but I think I'll try it out anyway, what have I got to loose other than approx. 2 hours of my life? Ha ha.

My parents went and rented four movies on Friday. Those of which being Atonement, Rush Hour 3, Being Jane, and Spiderman 3. I've seen Rush Hour 3 before, and it still isn't any better than the first time I watched it; stupid as ever. My mom and I were both very excited to watch Atonement, and it was definitely different. It was really good, really terrible, and really upsetting. After a few nights of rest I've decided I really like it. It is very sad though, but it is such a great story! I really want to read the book though, because I feel like I'm missing some major part of the story, so one day I will read it.

I've decided I really quite like just about every kind of music. Today I seem to really like Elven music and New Age though. Specifically Nightwish, Elane, Enya, Blackmores Night, and Ailein Duinn. They have such good songs, such powerful emotions!

I've been doing quite a lot of browsing of art recently, and have decided that photography is probably my favorite type of art at the moment. I love how a person can capture so much emotion, story, and background in one shot. I have an amazing idea for a picture I'd like to take, but I need two people, male and female, to pose for me. Don't know who yet, but I'm sure I could find someone since I go to a school of performing and visual arts. I am desperately trying to work on my drawing skills. Its not getting too far. I seem to be able to do clothes and bodies quite well, but faces, hands, eyes, and scenery seem to escape my grasp. Oh well, I'm working on it. Practise makes perfect, right?

In my band class we are working on a few pieces, my favorite being American Riversongs by Pierre La Plante. I find it kind of amusing that an American collection is written by a French. Nothing wrong with it, just a small fact I just realized. But it is quite a nice song, needs some work in my band but its coming together and sounding good.

Well I suppose that is all for now, so I will write again soon!

Love Always,
Laura <3

Time to Shine

2008-03-17T18:13:00.002-06:00

Mood: Artistic
Listening to: Kate Voegelle <3
Reading: 18 books, le gasp!
Watching: Elfen Lied
Playing: WoW...long story
Eating: Pizza Huts Canadian Stuffed Crust!
Drinking: Water
Wishes: New computer...and camera. Also to stay happy!!

EEEK! I've been SO busy! Too busy living life to write about it here!

So I have TONS to talk about! First of all, I am in love -- With my school! It just keeps getting better and better! Although, remember that mythology club I started? Well we have had two scheduled meeting...people only came to one. But thats ok, it happens. The next one is tomorrow, and I have a lot of plans! Also, I have officially joined the soccer team at my school, and tomorrow is a 'training' day for that too, so I'm excited! I've been doing great with all my classes and have made SO MANY friends! There is something upsetting though. They are tearing down the school (since its over 100 years old and REALLY falling apart) and rebuilding it. The bad part about this is that there are a bunch of painings and other work that students haev done on the walls -- painted right on the cement walls -- that can never be replaced. It will be really sad to see all of it gone forever...There is a lot of really great things there, and tricks and eye-catchers. We are all rather upset about that, but at the same time we are happy we are getting a new school.

Major news!!!! I got my braces off!!! I'm still not totally used to the retainer, and I'd much rather not wear it at all -- I find myself forgetting to put it on after lunch and things but I usually do have it. I'm so happy though, I feel free haha. My grandma (the one I really dont like) even commented on how straight my teeth are!

Bad news -- my room still hasnt changed! But thats ok, I have a lot of plans for it. I dont spend very much time in it anyhow.

One of my friends is trying to get me to play World of Warcraft. Its not working too well. I created a character on their realm, but I've only played once. One reason is because my dad wont get off so its hard to play when he's on. Second is that I dont have time, and third because its not too great of a game in my eyes...better than most but still...

So there is a major shift in the universe going on...Its crazy painful at times. Incase you dont have any idea what I'm talking about, its the veil between the spirit world and this one. A shift is when that veil changes - usually either stronger or less, making the spirits more accessible to this world or less. Incase you didnt know, I'm an indigo child. I seem to be able to tell when things are happening, and I can definitely see things most people can not. So the shift is hitting me pretty hard, along with a friend of mine that is also indigo. Odd emotions, random rampages, awkward feelings of diziness and tiredness, and odd memories/flashbacks that arent mine are common lately.

Speaking of that friend, she lives in the States and got a job opportunity up here where I am. I was all excited that I'd finally get to see her in real life, but it turns out the job was crap so she didnt take it. So close, but so far. Its too bad, we would have had so many good times!

So speaking of friends...lots of drama lately. Been on a few dates, all turned out great, but now theres too many people to choose from -- But I have my eyes set on one...I just dont want to hurt any of the others. I really like them all, but theres one in particular that I seem to be getting really close too. I just dont know how to not hurt anyone...

There are two new things I am saving up to get. Firstly, a new camera. If I want a really expensive one I'm thinking about the Canon Digital Rebel XTi or Canon EOS-1D Mark 111. But they are both VERY expensive, like about 4000$ each. So I dont think I'm going to do that. Also, my computer is totally screwed, so I'm hoping to get a Macbook Pro. Switching from Microsoft to Mac since I have a few friends that have a Mac and apparently its better than Microsoft -- iLife included! Lastly, I would quite like to get a video camera. Not sure what type/brand/label yet, still looking into it.

In a few weeks I have a bunch of dance festivals coming up for ballet. I'm so excited!! Our dance seems so cute! I just cant wait for it to be shown to everyone! Our costumes are amazing litte red with white polka-dot dresses; halter tops. They are so adorable and we all look so cute in them! I'm going to be very busy practising and rehearsing until then...so I probably wont be posting for a while.

Last but not least, a few people reccommended that I enter a poem that I wrote into a contest on the web that could win $10,000. I did, not expecting much of anything. Its that poem that I put up in the last post, so I'm not sure if its even worth it. But I guess we'll find out. They sent me an email saying that it will probably take 2 weeks to process it as they get thousands of entries a day. So I'm not going to get my hopes up.

Well thats all for now, off to bed!

Love always,
Laura! <3

Unforseen Past

2008-02-25T22:13:00.002-07:00

Hello again all. As you probably already know I have been very busy! Lets see, this week I had about a MILLION things to do. Here's the list:

Sunday: Working
Monday: Visiting my Grandma at the hospital, Doing Homework, had a friend over for about an hour, went on a walk.
Tuesday: Dance and homework/housework, went on a walk with a friend
Wednesday: Visiting my Grandma in the hospital, Dance and homework/housework, went on a walk with a friend.

Now keeping in mind that I don't usually get home until 5:30/6 every evening this doesn't give me much time for sleeping or eating. I've been absolutely LOADED with homework, so much so that I can barely keep it in order, I am doing homework during spares, lunch, before and after school. Its insane. I love it. So IB is going amazingly and today I was told that I am an over-achiever. This pleased me muchly. (Really bad grammar there I know, trying to be funny while absolutely wiped and basically dead to the world works out SO well. -Rolls Eyes-).

So I just got home from dance. Shockingly it took me a year and a half to figure out that people that dance are drop dead gorgeous with outrageous style. Not saying its good or bad, as it varies per person, but some of the outfits I saw tonight were just very awkward. They looked somewhat like 90's workout style -- and best of all they were costumes for festivals! I had a good laugh over that, quietly and to myself of course but it still counts.

Speaking of laughing, there have been quite a few funny things happening this week that I know of. First of all on Monday after I went to visit my Grandma in the hospital my mom and I went to her apartment to get rid of any food or anything that will go rotten. My grandmother lives in a complex for older folks who can still take care of themselves but may need some help sometimes. You walk in the front doors and immediately see a group of ladies sitting against the wall chit-chatting. They are the EXACT definition of 'Tennis Ladies'; sitting there and watching every movement and then making some comment about it, usually bad. Here's an example, "Hello." says Lady 1. "Goodnight!" Says my mom. "I say hello and she says goodnight!" says Lady 1 to Lady 2, 3, and 4. "How outrageous, she mustn't know proper English!" And they say this as you are standing 3 feet away from them, as they feel that you cant hear them if they don't look at you while they are speaking. Now Lady 1's voice was very rude, almost snobby if I may say so myself. It was very funny, I had to contain my laughter at least until I walked out the doors so I wouldn't get beaten by any canes. Secondly, my gym class is hilarious! There are 5 of us that are really good friends so we get amusement out of the smallest things, so basically everything. Today was basically a free period seeing as we had already done out CPR test so [our group] had nothing to do. We goofed around and decided that one of my friends was a thief, rapist, causer of sexual harassment, causer of domestic abuse and many other things -- mostly to me. It was a really funny, painful morning.

This week was Science Week at my school, so there were a bunch of experiments and cool things to see around the school. I, personally, did not get to see many. The one that I saw today was a sling shot competition. Basically the contestants got given a box full of a few objects with which they were to make a sling shot/catapult out of. Then they were to be given a ball and try to get the ball in a jar that was about 10-15 feet away from where they were stationed. A bunch of my friends were competing, and it was really funny to watch. One group got first place and another group of my friends got second. It was rather fun to watch!

One of my best friends does not live anywhere near me, in fact we have never met in real life. She got me really worried about her as we didn't talk in about 2 months. It turns out that she just lost her Internet connection, but she didn't tell me and I hadn't heard from one of her friends who is also my friend, either. I just finally got ahold of them and found all this out. Funny thing is, that day she had just ended up in the hospital since she slipped on ice and broke a few ribs, bruising one as well. She's alright but I was so worried about her! So shout outs to our friend who got ahold of me, thank you!

Today in math class I got finished all my homework and decided that I really wanted to write something. I just picked up my pencil and started writing and here is what came out:

This room is filled with,
Breathe of unseen visitors.
The windows embody precious,
Eyes of an old gypsy woman.
This room is somehow alive,
Alive with the spirit of the past.

Now every time I read it I feel like something is missing, or there is something more to be said. One of my friends read it and said that it was amazing, nothing was missing, but I'm still not sure. So if you have any input please feel free! I'm anxious to improve so if you have any help please offer it!

While reading my book, Carnevale by M.R. Lovric, I have learnt quite a bit about Casanova himself. It is fascinating how a person can make love to so many woman and love all of them for their own reasons. He must have been quite the amazing person to be able to keep track of all of them, and remember just about every detail of every confrontation. He was quite the genius really, he had so much knowledge but never really got to put it to use, not to the extent of people like Einstein or Beethoven anyhow.

Well I believe that is all for now, but I will be writing more tomorrow for sure seeing as I have my training for my new position at work!

Have a wonderful night and I hope you are making the best of life.

Love Always,
Laura <3

Animals and Humans Are One In the Same

2008-02-23T22:15:00.003-07:00

This is a terrible photo of a seal from Antarctica. Some hunters had captured it and left it to die, which it did. An explorer found this picture.

I find it terribly upsetting that people could do this to a species that is nearly extinct as it is, without any extra help.

In my mind hunting is just as bad as murdering a human. Animals and Humans are one in the same. We are all living beings who can think and feel just like each other. To do something such as this is commiting a crime more terrible than anyone could possibly imagine, just like murder and deserves a punishment all in the same.

This photo has terribly disturbed me and I wish there was something I could do to help save these poor animals, and other that need help as well.

Broken Hearts are Often Caused by Unspoken Words

2008-02-23T15:35:00.003-07:00

For about a year and a half now there have been a bunch of papers on the back of my door that have different sayings on them that my friends and I made up. I just took them down, but decided to put them on here.

Why'd You have to Break My Heart?

You can Change the World.

You Don't Know Just What Love is Until it Breaks Your Heart.

Live in the Ghetto...Do you really want to go there? Or not?

If Hearts Were Unbreakable Then I could Just Tell You Where I Stand.

East to the Sea, West to the Land, Death to the Bitch Who Touches My Man.

Its Amazing how Someone Can Break Your Heart, But You Still Love Them With All the Little Pieces.

Nights I'll Never Remember With People I'll Never Forget.

I'm Sick of Crying, Tired of Trying, Yeah I'm Smiling but Inside I'm Dying.

All of these have illustrations on them so they would probably make more sense if you could see them. Some of them I think are really true, others not so much.

Well its been a fairly busy week, lots of housework and chores done. Yesterday I went to my friends house and had supper with his family and then went to a movie, that was fun. We saw Definitely, Maybe and it was really good. Today I had a friend over and we just sat around and talked, then went to the macs and came back and listened to music and talked. I was invited to a sleepover tonight but I unfortunately cannot go as my grandma just ended up in the hospital so I need to be there for my mom. I feel terrible about not going seeing as it was her birthday just recently and I have her gift but I haven't been able to give it to her yet.

So I'm confused about people. Why do they find it necessary to only talk to people on the computer? If they can be on the computer instead of the phone then they will be. I was just on the phone with a friend and he's like "are you on the computer right now?" I'm like, "Yeah..." "OK well I'll talk to you there in a sec." "Um, OK bye?" Click. Well, that was interesting. Its quite sad how impersonal people seem to be. I much prefer talking on the phone or in person when possible, I understand if your doing homework or are busy doing something then its easier to just talk on the computer, but come on! The computer is a nice device, which obviously I use it often, but I don't RELY on it. That just really bothers me.

I believe I have finally found the person who appreciated me as much as I do them. Its awesome! They appreciate the same poetry, art, music, but at the same time they have their own interests. Its quite the relief! I thought I was an alien or something of the inhuman sort. Possibly I have a different brain function or something?

Updates: I seem to have fallen in love with the magazine Juxtapoz...the only issue is that it features some GANGSTA things... I'm finding it really sad how the gangstas are taking over the world.

I am also reading a book right now called Carnevale by M.R. Lovric. It is a really well written intriguing book! I love the setting, without the setting the story line wouldn't work, and the characters are amazing. Its definitely a historical fiction, but its so well done you barely notice!

I am really in the mood to draw lately, but am not sure what to draw, so if you have any recommendations or ideas please let me know ASAP. I'm really anxious!

The movies for the Twilight series are coming out next year and I'm so excited!!! Although I am somewhat upset about who they chose for Edward...the guy that played Cedric Digory on Harry Potter!? Come on, it could have been so much better than that!! Some of the candidates fit the role SO much better!

I have been SO busy at school lately! I'm been catching up from the first half of the year that I missed for English and Social while keeping up with what they are now doing, so its quite the task. It is so much fun though, and such a great experience. It will really help me for university or any previous education so I am very excited!

I do believe that is all for now, but if there is anything else I will be sure to write it!

Have a wonderful night and I hope that you have a wonder Sunday!

Love Always,
Laura <3

The best accomplishement is effort

2008-02-19T18:26:00.002-07:00

So I've been go, go, go all day today. I woke up at 9, cleaned the bathroom from top to bottom, then had breakfast, then cleaned my room top to bottom (now you must understand that this is quite the task, I have a lot of stuff. Little odds and ends here and there, books everywhere piles of cds...its quite challenging), watched a three and a half hour long movie for Social, and then finally made supper (which by the way took me 2 hours). So I've had a very busy day. Thankfully though, I got a lot accomplished, so I'm happy. Atleast it wasnt a day wasted.

During my chores I came across my old binder, and in it a piece of paper titled "Thoughts". I was curious so I read over it and it goes like this:

Sometimes I wonder if life isnt supposed to be, or be not what it is. Could life possibly be set, do you know what you want to do? If you are 'supposed' to do something, but someone holds you back should you do it anyway? If you are meant to, but you get stopped then are you not meant to? I wonder if when you are born, you subconsiously know what you want or are meant to do? What if it doesnt happen? Is life then messed up? Did something go wrong? Or did something before that event happen that wasnt meant to, or soemthing didnt happen? If you think that something you are doing is right, then is it? Or could it possibly be wrong?

Dated: Jan 30 2006

I read this and literally said "Woah..." I had no idea that I had a mind like that when I was that young. I mean come on, for a 13 year old to be able to compose thought like that is just amazing. I blew myself away. Even though there are parts that dont really make sense, it is still a valid point. People will either believe in it or not depending on their heritage and personal beliefs, but that is extremely provoking for myself.

I also found in this miraculous binder a chart. It seems to make a lot of sense and I would like to save it so I thought I'd put it on here. There are some good points made here so maybe put some thought into it as you are reading, and remember to LINK with all knowledge you already know. Find ways that it connects, because if you are good enough and 'smart' enough then it should be able to connect to every single thing.

Communication
Language
Global COmmunication
Media
Television
Film
Music
Radio
Internet
Literature
Entertainment
Sports

Geography
Biodiversity
Nature
Animals
Zoology
Entomology
Goeology
Resources
Environment
Polution
Food
Water
Energy
Oil

Global Interactions
Poverty
Darfur
Afluence
Economy
Money
Faith
Diversity
Racism
Transportation
Travel
Tourism
War
Weapons
Terrorism

Human Interactions
Education
Industry
Jobs
ROles
Human Engineering
Human anatomy
Intercourse
Politics
Fashion
Weapons
Terrorism

Now I remember being assigned this project. Everyone in my class was overwhelmed. They didnt know what to put. I just picked up the pen and started writing, and I got all these ideas. These were off the top of my mind. Now remembering that I was only 13, go back and read them again. A thirteen year old thought of all this, and that thirteen year old happened to be me. Do you think it was the teachers that helped me get to be able to have the mind of an adult or parents or other influences? I cant even answer that question, probably some of all, but that blows me away that I came up with all those at the age of 13.

Changing topic, I am doing a project for social on Queen Victoria (1800's) and the assassination attempts on her. I cant seem to find the names of any of the people that tried or their reasoning behind it, so if you have any links or ideas or anything that would help me please do so ASAP! Thank you!

I'm reading a book called Carnevale by M.R. Lovric and it is absolutely splendid. I am in love with this book and I just started, I'm barely past chapter 2! Warning though, it is maturely themed so its not one I sugest reading with your kids.

Well that is all for now as I must now be going to bed, school tomorrow! Have a wonderful night and I'll write again soon!

Love Always,
Laura <3

The Party Life isnt The Life

2008-02-17T22:30:00.002-07:00

Hii all. I know its been a while since I posted, again, and I'm sorry about that. I've been so busy though. So now I have time to post and its going to be a great long one again. So buckle your seatbelts and I hope you enjoy the ride.

So one of my best friends lives in the states. She goes to college, and we met over the internet. Creepy, I know. Meeting people over the internet isnt always the best place to meet, nor the most trustworthy, but she is an amazing person. The problem is, she hasnt been online in months so I havent spoken to her in forever. I miss her like crazy and I wish that I had some way to contact her. Also, she introduced me to one of her life-long best friends and now we are rather close as well. The three of us have gone through so much together, yet we seem so distant now that we never speak. I have no way to contact her either because her cell phone was cancelled awhile ago. So now I just have to wait until she comes on, and I'm really scared. The only time she didnt come on every day or as much as possible was the time she was in the hospital, so now I'm really nervous. I wish she would know that and come on...

But anyhow, moving on to brighter topics, last night I went to my friends birthday party. It was so much fun! There were supposed to be lik 14 people there but then only 4 guys and two girls ended up being there. We had a lot of fun anyway though, just dancing and goofing around. I havent had a night like that in a while, so it was a lot of fun and brought back many memories.

So valentines day was amazing. Well more like evening seeing as I had a friend come over in the evening and he played an amazing song for me on the piano that he wrote himself. I swear nobody has ever done anything as sweet before. The song was so well done and seemed to convey so much truth about the two of us, it was so amazing. So thank you so much, you know who you are. The only wish as that I could give him something back, something as amazing, but I just cant think of what, but I will eventually and it will blow him away I hope.

The same amazing guy that did the song just invited me to go to the museum tomorrow. Well incase you dont know already, tomorrow is family day. I would absolutely LOVE to go with him, especially since I'd meet his sister and her boyfriend who seem like amazing people, but my dad said he wants to spend the day with me so I'm not aloud. Tomorrow happens to be the only day that we are all available so its going to be a while until I finally meet them, and I feel like such a horrid person for putting them off so many times about it. So if your reading this, I'm so sorry!!

So today was fun, I worked and then babysat. I'm actually quite serious about it being fun seeing as I havent seen the kids for such a long time, weeks even, and I missed them so much. So tonight was amazing. I used to babysit them three times a week every week and then I switched schools so now I never get to see them anymore! We just watched The Incredibles and ate popcorn and played some video games but it was a lot of fun just getting to see them again. Shout outs to all the kids I babysit, I miss you all so much!

I have been doing a lot of talking to teachers and administration at my new school and will soon be starting two clubs. One is Mythology, the other Debate. I need to get lists of people who would like to join, and I'm working hard on it so it should be happening soon, meaning I probably wont be posting in much longer intervals than now even, but I will certaintly try to keep you all updated.

I've also been connecting the old school files with the new ones, and that is quite hard. I finally got the work experiance guys to talk and they figured out that I can transfer my hours from the old place to the new place and keep getting more as long as I learn new things starting NOW. So I'm going to be balancing the new projects with the old ones at work and I'm supposed to keep up. Its just basically putting up displays and such around the library, but it actually takes quite a bit more work than one would expect. So I'm going to be really really busy everywhere I go now. Oh well, if it gets me more credits than its all good, as long as the work gets paid off.

I've figured out how one can tell that teachers love you; if they are willing to stay after hours in the middle of the semester, after deadlines, to switch around your schedual. So the teachers absolutely adore me. I just switched into English IB and Social IB for the rest of the semester, a week after deadlines. The teachers think that I am more than capable, that the work is going to be like walking on water for me. I happen to agree, although I'm doing twice the workload as everyone else since these IB courses are year long. Oh, for those of you that dont know the IB program is International Bacheloreate, meaning the really creative minds type people with good grades get to be in it. So I'm so excited!

The bad part about school this year is that I think the teachers in the old school got my grades wrong. I just got my report card back and it is absolutely terrible, the comments are horrid and I'm really upset. I'm going to talk to them about it and see if they made a mistake, after all there is a girl with the same first and last name as me that has a lot of the same teachers who gets terrible marks. So I'm really hoping that they did get it messed up because this just doesnt seem right and I am really upset about it.

Changing topic again, my moms birthday is coming up in march and she said she just want travel guides for Bali, seeing as we are going in Spring of 2009. That seems like a terrible b-day gift but its what she wants so I'll go with it. The only place I can seem to find the books she wants is on Amazon, so I'm ordering them. I did a little browsing while I was on and found a bunch of books that are amazing, like Mythology, Poetry, History and whatnot that are leather bound deluxe editions. I'm so happy and I found deals on them so I'm really hoping that I get them soon!

Well I need to go soon, but I have one more thing. I am currently writing a novel. I only have the first chapter written but I have a bunch of plans for the whole story. So I'm going to put the first chapter on here, hoping that nobody will steal it and forge it from me. So here goes, I trust you all!

Its Only Interpretation (Title may change)

Chapter 1

"I know I shouldn’t be here, really, I just can’t seem to stay away. This world, it’s like nothing anyone has ever spoken of before...It's so mystical and overall amazing." Her hair wiped behind her as the wind hit her face, sending deep red into her cheeks.

The tall man in front of her had a soft yet stern expression, but when the wind had come and reacted so extravagantly upon the girl’s face he couldn’t help but smile a little and reach out in an attempt to restrain her long, wavy red hair. "How many times do I have to tell you, Farlynne? It’s only like that because that’s the way you want to see it. It’s what you believe it is, so it will be like that. I told you not to come back here, you could easily get hurt, or worse -- you must leave. I'm sorry. I just don’t want you to get hurt...I will find you one day, I promise. I l-"

Farlynne awoke with a start as she got shot back against the side of the ship. She put her hands to her head, rubbing her temples to get rid of the headache she had just recently accumulated. It took her a minute to realize where she was and why she had been thrown to the opposite wall. "Oh my...!" They had finally arrived! She was on the shores of Ireland! She was about to jump up and run outside when she heard all the rustling above her and realized that it wasn’t save for her to leave the confinements of the storage room quite yet, she had to wait until the ship and dock was empty. She leaned against the wall, in the shadows just for security, and decided to pre-occupy herself by writing about her adventure so far in her journal. Pulling the leather wrapped pieces of paper along with the quill and ink bottle, she started writing.

Having only been -- "No." She thought, "I should start it out like a story." Once upon a time... "No not that either...hmm...aha!" March 18, 1228 Being only five and ten living in Britannia, and only knowing what of the world I have read in books, I barely knew what I was getting myself into when I stowed away on the ship called Llyannia. You see, I had spoken to my parents about my dreams to travel many years ago, but all I got was a "We don’t have enough money." and "Travelling is only for people who matter.” You see, my family doesn’t have much money, nor land, so we don’t have anything to rely on other than each other. I had nothing to look forward to, and if I listened to my mother often I, too, would believe that my head is filled with nothing but stories that will kill me when I'm older and without a job. With my dreams on my mind I was going to get some rice and fruit, as we had ran out of our one serving. I had my own savings, however small, in my pocket as I always had so that if anything happened I would be able to support the family. But as I walked down the street I overheard a group of women speaking of how much they would miss their husbands when they went to Ireland. And in another group how beautiful the ships name was; Llyannia. When I put two and two together, I couldn’t help but get very excited and have my thoughts stray to using my savings to buy some food and stow away. When I came home with handfuls of food, my family gaped at me. I never told them that I was leaving, nor that I had no intention of coming back any time soon. I just gave them great big hugs and kisses that could last a lifetime and said that a miracle had occurred. Later that night as I left my house for the last time I never realized what miraculous adventures lay ahead for me. "There. All finished for now." Her melodic voice rang throughout the cabin like a songbird which startled her, at first she hadn’t realized that it was her own voice she was hearing.

She quietly cleared her throat and took a long breathe in, quieting herself so she could hear if there was anyone else aboard. When she decided that there couldn’t possibly be anyone else aboard she made her mind to explore a little, see if she could get off this awful ship. She grabbed her things and tip-toed up the stairs only to find herself turn the corner and be looking straight into the face of the man in her dreams.

Alright, well thats it for now. I will write again soon! Good night!

Love Always,

Laura! <3

Face the Facts

2008-02-09T14:23:00.000-07:00

The link from above is an amazing music site, that has sheet music, definitions, instruments, and so much more. Check it out!

Anyway, I know I was going to write about the first day of school, after the first day, but I have been SO BUSY so I havent gotten to it. One time I got one sentence written, but then my computer shut down all by itself, so I didnt get to post it and now I cant remember what it was. So anyway, I'll recap a bit now.

I had an amazing first day, a girl that is now one of my best friends, asked me to sit with her at lunch. I made a lot of friends that day. Then the second day I sat with her again. Now we are really good friends, and I know a lot of people. The school seemed to accept me right away, and not only the students, but the teachers. My social teacher is already reccomending me for the IB program, and for those of you who dont know what that is, its like a step up from -1 or the academic classes. It has the same curriculum, but more thought and effort is put in to the work. So I'll end up having the IB class on day A and the regular course that I'm in now on day B because the IB is year long, whereas the course I'm in now isnt, its semestered. So I will have to continue doing the work I'm doing now, even though I'm a week ahead of my class already...

Last night the cheer competition was held at my school. A BUNCH of teams were there, like all of the area I'm in, making it like 6 school, a few teams each. And then the local football team's cheer team was there too, so it was so good! My school won first in Large Varsity and Co-ed, and second in Pom. It was so good, they did such a good job! I had such a good time! I went with two of my friends, and saw a bunch of people that I knew there too, so I had an amazing time! I had spoken to the Co-ed cheer coach last friday and she said that if I went to the competition yesterday and liked what I saw then I could go to practices and learn the moves and all, but not be considered on the team. I'd be like an extra, so if someone broke their leg or something and couldnt go to the competition then I would take their place. Needless to say I'm going to do that, and I cant wait! I have a lot of friends on the cheer team, so it will be a lot of fun!

Also, I am part of the school radio station, and yes, we do broadcast live shows. I am so excited! I am also part of newspaper, student council, student union (leadership), and when the soccer team starts up I'll be on that too! I am so excited! I cant wait!

Every day in gym we've been going to the school's weight room. Its been paying off, what with that and dance twice a week I've been getting really strong and a lot better at physical activities. In the past week I've gotten real abs, like an actual four pack, and working on a six pack. But I refuse to be like a body builder, so I am happy with this. After all I want to be ellegent, not buff. I have a bunch of guy friends that are jeleous. My legs and stomach are nice and strong, but my arms are like jello though. Oh well, I dont use my arms too much anyway.

So I went on a date last weekend, and it was so much fun! Just being with the person was awesome. I cant wait to do it again!

Last weekend I also saw I am Legend. It was terrible. I hated it. I cant believe that they die. And I'm not going to say who incase you havent seen it, but I wouldnt reccomend it. I thought it was going to be so much better, but it really sucked. I also had a sleepover with a really good friend of mine for the first time. We watched a bunch of movies, those being A walk to remember, Pride and Prejudice (2006), and She's the Man. They were all really good movies, and we've both seen them all before, but it was fun anyway. We talked a lot and had a really good time over all. I've come to the decision though that I am really glad I'm an only child. She has two little brothers that yell and scream and wake up at the crack of dawn, so that was interesting. But I'm really glad that I'm an only child. Seriously though, I dont think I'd be the person I am today if I wasnt.

I'm finding my love of music is widening, if possible. I've taken up guitar, not sure if I said anything on that yet or not. Its a lot of fun. But also my taste in music has become quite the wide range. I'm finding I like some of everything, it just depends on the song and my mood. But I have thousands of songs, and I cant seem to choose favorites. So if you ever have anything you like, please let me know, chances are I'd like it too.

I'm watching One Tree Hill Season four at the moment. All really good episode, but I just got past the one where there was the accident with Haley and then Lucas. I cried so hard! I couldnt stop either. Really good episodes. One of the things I like about the show is how there are so many deep, amazing messages within every episode. I have learned so much from the show. I'm not sure if anyone else realizes just how amazing the show is. Parts remind me of when I read poetry or hear a really good song or write something that is absolutely amazing. I get this feeling inside my stomach and chest thats like a ballon just blew up full of happiness. I get this feeling like I just collapsed inside myself, yet at the same time I just grew so much. It makes me cry on the inside, out of happiness though. Its just this feeling that I dont get often, but when I do I remember it forever. There are even times as a young girl that I remember because I got that feeling. One time I was in my living room. It was during the summer and nobody was home that day. I was probably about 8 or so, and being home alone was quite unusual. I'm not really sure why I was home alone seeing as my grandma lived with me, maybe she had a doctors appointment or something. Anyway, I had the music blasting. I was listening to some oldies, 99 balloons and such, classics from the 80's. It was a cd that my parents had, and I listened to it more than they did. So anyway, I was dancing away, and I did this really awesome move that I didnt know I could do, and it worked with the song so well. I got this feeling, and I felt like I could fly. I ended up dancing hardcore for hours, until someone came home and got made because the music was so loud and I had rearranged the whole living room. It was a really good day and I dout I'll ever forget it. It was that day that I realized how much I love dance and that I wanted to do it for the rest of my life.

Something else I've started doing a lot more is drawing. I find I get these large inspired moments were I just have to get it out, and drawing seems to work for me. Its funny that its only those times when I can draw, if I try any other time it is a major failure.

Well I'm going to go now, I have many other things I should be doing at the moment. I hope your having an amazing weekend, and I'll try to post as much as possible.

Remember to let me know of any good movies, books, songs, artists, anything that you like. I really do want to know. Also, you should remember that you have the power to do anything you set your mind to. In this world you dont have to do the same thing as your parents, or necessarily do what they think is right for you. You dont have to follow your friends just because they are your friends. You control what you do with your life and where you go, and I hope that you do amazing things and one day I'll be reading the newspaper and see an article all about how you've accomplished so many great achievements. Maybe you'll even save the world.

Love always,
Laura! <3

Publishing the Heart

2008-01-29T21:15:00.000-07:00

So I’m sitting here at my moms work and it hit me. Life can not possibly change if you don’t do anything to change it. All these people here aren’t happy with a part in their life, whether that’s relationships, houses, taxes, whatever the case maybe. But instead of being proactive and getting out there and doing something about it they sit here all day every day and complain about it while wondering why its not changing. Think about that, if all people ever did was sit and complain, the world would be shut down. Roads wouldn’t get fixed, people that need medical help wouldn’t get it, food wouldn’t be around, water wouldn’t be drinkable, you wouldn’t be reading this (that would be a terrible misfortune =D). The list goes on. Everything we have wouldn’t be here. Everything; houses, cars, computers, paper, pencils, cups, plates, forks, knives, oranges, toasters, sinks, etc. So if life is so bad, why isn’t there a return policy? Oh right, because you don’t purchase life. It is a gift given to you from your parents, friends, ancestors, nature. We as humanity have forgotten how to appreciate what’s good in life, instead we thrive on the bad. Gossip, news, headlines, songs, movies, television, art. It all thrives on violence, sex, drugs, drama; all the bad things. Notice all the things listed above? They all are a form of media or entertainment. So has the media changed the world? You answer for me, and we’ll see what you come up with.

The reason why I am at my mothers’ workplace today is because I went to the new school for a tour/orientation. It wasn’t much exciting other than the fact that I officially have an identity again, I have my locker, and all my classes are on far sides of the school from each other. I have one downstairs, one in the far north east corner, one in the middle, one in the east, and one in the far south east. So it should be interesting trying to get all over the school in between classes. By the way, break in between classes is five minutes. No more, no less. Down to the last second. So wish me luck! =D Thanks guys.

I had a very interesting night last night. My ex boyfriend sent me an email saying things like “I don’t understand why we broke up,” “How come you never emailed me?” “Why is it such a big deal?” Well I broke up with him for a reason that makes a lot of sense to me. Apparently it doesn’t to other people but to me it does. He drank an [unspecified] amount of vodka, straight. No parents were there. So he was doing it irresponsibly. I didn’t know how to respond at first. I mean, its great to do if you have a responsible person there that is looking out for you in case something goes wrong, and who can also prevent something from going wrong, but not if there isn’t. Also, he doesn’t usually drink. The most he’s ever had was a little bit of wine once at Christmas, and he didn’t like it. So did it piss me off? Yes, but there’s more. I have a history of issues with drinking, between myself and some other people, and needless to say there have been some near death experiences. He had promised me that he wouldn’t do anything like it, that if he was drinking he would do it with parents there and not any stupid amounts. So the break up was 99% about trust and 1% about the drinking. He doesn’t seem to understand that though, so he keeps bringing it up again. Now when we broke up we decided that we wanted to be friends. We broke up in the beginning of December, so its not anything new at this point. We took the same bus to school seeing as he lives across the street, so we got to talk every day twice a day for about half an hour each way. I thought that we were friends, we didn’t really hang out or call each other or much else but I’m really busy all the time so I don’t really hang out with anybody. Apparently he thought that because we never hung out or talked on the phone or by email that we weren’t friends. I don’t get that, but alright. So we ended up talking on the phone last night and deciding that no, we probably weren’t being the best friends we could be, but indeed we were friends. So we had a nice long talk on the phone last night (approx. 2 hours) and now we are all good. So it was a very confusing night for me. And the worst thing is, I still have feelings for him. I just cant trust him so I don’t see the relationship going very far at this point. So for now we will be friends, but I don’t see anything more than that happening. So there is a healing process that isn’t taking place in him or me, but we are both at different stages.

On top of that I am having some more boy issues, well not necessarily issues, but not great. There’s this old ex of mine (not the one stated above) that is still in love with me a year later. He wants to get together on Friday night. So that will be fun, as ‘old friends’. Then there’s this other old ex who is also still in love with me, and wants to be together again. So there’s a total of three ex’s who want to be with me right now. And now there’s a new guy who I really like as well, and we get along great. We were supposed to go on a date on Saturday but unfortunately that’s the one I got sick for and had to miss. So now its rescheduled on this coming Saturday, but a change of plans. Its going to be at his house now. Needless to say, my love life never dies apparently, and the sad thing is I cant seem to control it.

Oh! I’ve got a new goal! I’m going to re-teach myself guitar, but I’m going to get good at it. At the moment I can play sweet home Alabama, I can read music/tabs and I am learning some chords. I can play just about any song you show me on tabs or sheet music, but not chords yet. So I’m getting really excited and I love my guitar, it’s a blue acoustic, and later I’ll let you know the brand name, I don’t think its big though.

I’m really excited to go to this new school and find a bunch of new friends and I’m hoping to find some people that are good dancers (haha, the school is a performing and visual arts people, there must be SOMEONE!) for my choreography. I am doing a dance to the song Missing You by Imogen Heap. I need four male back-up and three female backup and a male lead. It should be interesting to find that many, but I kind of imagine having about the same amount of people as in the movie Step Up. I’m looking forward to getting the choreography on the move, and I hope it could get me somewhere. I seem to really enjoy doing choreography and have been shaping my dreams for the future around it.

I’ve also been drawing a lot more lately, and some of the pictures have actually turned out ok. I’m rather proud of myself actually. It seems that I can draw animals fairly well, but not people. I also seem to enjoy making pictures with meaningful sayings. For instance, just the other day I drew a picture with headphones and music notes that says in the top right corner, “An Expression of the Soul.” Think what you may, but I enjoy it and believe that it is very true.

So I’m thinking for the future I may be create a record label or join one anyway, to sign new artists. I think that would be awesome, and I could help with the album artwork or something too. Then I could write reviews for magazines or something, and maybe publish a book on the side. Maybe I could also be an events coordinator for anything and have a bunch of different things happen like concerts, rehearsals, dance shows, talent shows, etc. That would be like, my dream life. And part of the money from the events would go to charity, different charities for every event. So I think that will work out great.

I’m really excited for tonight as I have dance and then I am having a sleepover with two of my best friends! It was supposed to be a slumber party but not enough people could go so its just going to be the three of us. We will go in the hot tub, watch a bunch of movies, talk, and then tomorrow we are going shopping! It will be so much fun, I cant wait. And then on Thursday I start school. This week should be very eventful, so I’ll try to keep you all up to date!
Talk to you all soon!
Love Always,
Laura <3

Truth hurts

2008-01-26T16:15:00.000-07:00

So yesterday my friend came and stayed at my house all day. We had a great time, watching The OC and just hanging out. Then I went to 27 Dresses with a different friend, and we had a great time too. It was such a good movie, funny and romantic.

So today I was supposed to go on a date with an amazing guy. I was really looking forward to it. But I woke up a lot sicker than I was yesterday, and my mom said that I couldn't go. So now I have to put it off another week! It sucks, and I feel terrible. I really hope that the guy isn't too upset about it, and that he isn't mad at me. Also, I hope that he will give me another chance. It was going to be our first date too.

So the significance of putting up this picture is that it really brings out emotion. And goodness knows that we all need more emotion. Actually I think it is a gorgeous picture and it conveys so many different emotions that all really touch me. I see death, mourning, love, happiness, thoughtfulness. There is just so much, and its almost like I couldn't get enough of it. Its like people form so two different sides are coming together for a reason that the artist leaves up to you. It is an amazing picture, showing life and death in the same thing.

I seem to be having a large challenge in finding a job that suits my interests. I would like something that has to do with Music, Art, and Literature. All in the same thing. Music does include dance by the way. So then I'm thinking that maybe an events coordinator, and parts of the money would go towards a charity; a different charity each time. I've also had the idea of starting a youth club. That being ages 14-17 or something could come and watch a band or dance or have a talent show or whatever, but then you'd think that somebody might ruin it by bringing drugs or alcohol. So that probably wont work, and plus it probably wouldn't get approved by the city. So then I thought of having a monthly ball or masquerade or something. But I highly doubt that anyone in my area would enjoy that, and even if 10 did then that wouldn't really be enough.

Well I'm about to fall asleep, so I cant look at the computer screen anymore. I will talk to you all later, and I hope your having a great weekend!

Love always,

Laura!

An Expression of the soul

2008-01-23T22:11:00.000-07:00

So I have just finished watching every episode of the first three seasons of OTH. I absolutely HATE the last episode of the third season. It is so sad! At least I know what happens, since I've seen some episodes of late. But holy man, I still balled my eyes out. It was just so sad and romantic, I thought my heart was going to fall right out of my chest.

I love the way the creators of OTH have strung all the music in so much so that if the music wasn't there than the show wouldn't exist. I absolutely love it, and the music is so good too! I love Bethany Joy and Tyler Hilton, they make an amazing pair, and soloists. And Peyton, wow she is amazing at art, I just wonder if she is actually drawing the stuff or if it is all a set up. And Lucas with his literature. Just wow. The only thing that bothers me about the show is that I have all the same interests as ALL the characters on the show. It seems like on TV and movies the characters nearly always only have one or two interests. Here I am having a billion interests and I seem to manage to keep up, somehow. But its still an amazing show!

Anyways, moving on. I don't remember if I spoke at all about the Michael Buble concert last week. Well, it was absolutely amazing. I bought one of his t-shirts and I absolutely love it. He is such an amazing musician, and even better; he is an awesome performer! He is surprisingly really funny and knows just how to make people laugh and when. I was blown away, and I hope that he comes back soon!

The opening band for the Michael Buble concert was called Naturally 7. They were really good! They call their music 'Voice play'. Its basically acapella but they use their voices as the instruments, and this group was absolutely amazing. After the show they were signing autographs and the one guy checked me out. My whole family noticed it and everything. I felt really good about myself after that, haha. So that was a really good night, and I am so glad that I got to go. THANKS MOM!

So I went to my new school today to officially join it. I'm so excited! I spoke to a few of the teachers and they all seem like great people! I cant wait to go there, only a week left! There is so much I am planning to get involved in; radio, dance, band, newspaper, social justice, student union, etc. I can not wait, and it will be amazing!

So I am all done my exams at my old school now. I had a japanese 20 oral that I apparently did really well on, so I'm really happy. The only crappy thing is that I cant take japanese 30 because they don't offer it at the new school or in summer school. But I'll find a way. I think Grant MacEwan has an evening course that I could take if I really wanted to.

Well that's all for now. I will talk to you later as I am very tired right now.

Have a good night!

Love always,

Laura

Flower blooms and life begins

2008-01-21T18:42:00.000-07:00

So life is gorgeous. =D I must say that things are certainly falling into place for me, and I'm loving it. Its been a while since I've been able to just coast and let things just miraculously work out, but they are now, and it is really nice. But don't worry, I'm not taking advantage of it. Its just a really nice break.

So I am making a lot of new friends, in the old place. And they are amazing people. And now I get to go to a new school and meet a bunch more amazing people!

So I have been practising a lot on my flute, and I must say I have been getting much better. My sound is nice and full now, and I cant seem to stop playing. I am hoping to have a career in the music industry, whether that be playing or dancing or whatever, I think that would be amazing.

So I have finally found a person who has a lot of the same interests as myself, and it is amazing. He happens to want to take me to all these different places like to a music store and art galleries. And best of all, they were HIS ideas, not mine for once. So I am really happy. He is a really good guy, from what I know and I cant wait to get to know him better. I feel like we have some connection, like we were supposed to meet. And I am really happy.

So I had my first exam today, semester finals, and it was my Jap 20 final. I think it went alright actually, nothing terrible anyway. Now tomorrow I have my Sci 10-1 and my Jap Oral final. The science one I'm not too worried about, I've been working really hard to make sure that I know what I'm doing, but the oral I'm not too happy for, seeing that I haven't even written part of it yet. Ugh...Test anxiety. Oh well, what can you do?

So I have a bunch of plans with friends for the next week and a half, and I cant wait to get them going! I will probably be having a hot tub party/slumber party/day at the mall with a bunch of really good girlfriends, so that should be exciting. I have a date on Saturday. I have a bunch of plans that aren't totally organized yet, but they will happen. And now I'm really excited! So my next few weeks should be great, and I am in such a good mood that it can only make it better!

Well I must go now, so I can write my oral. =D

Have a great time, and please don't forget to smile! After all, they are contagious!

Love always,

Laura

Fate Holds Grasp

2008-01-12T20:23:00.000-07:00

YES! Yesterday I had the audition for the new school, and I MADE IT!!! The band teacher said that I was good and that he couldn't wait to have me in his band! I am so happy!! It is exactly how I imagined it to be, the whole atmosphere is just so different from any other school I've ever been to. People are so determined and in love with whatever it is they do, and they aren't afraid to be themselves. They even have a piano in the hallway that anyone can sit down and play! That is absolutely amazing and exactly the place I want to be!

So this coming semester I wont actually get to do all the extra curricular that I want to, but I will be able to be in band. I have to take math, English, and social so then my schedule only has room for one more course and seeing as I have dance as an extra curricular then I will be in band.

Wow, the counselor that I have been talking to at the new school is going to give me a few names and emails of people that attend that have the same kind of interests as me so that I wont be a total loner when I go there. This is just too perfect. I'm kind of scared that something will go wrong, but at this point I doubt it. These next three weeks are going to be a living hell! Since I start at the new school on Jan. 31.

So I just got home from my friends house. We were studying for our science final...and we are both really scared, mostly about biology. We both did really well in Chemistry, and then not as well in Physics and Biology, so we are working together to try to understand better.

So other than that, my life is kind of boring. I'm kind of worried about one of my guy friends because he is going through some really harsh drama right now, and there isn't really anything I can do to help him but be there when he wants to talk. I just wish there was something I could do or say to make him feel better.

So I was supposed to have a date tomorrow night with the guy from the last paragraph, but he got sick (probably from stress) so he cant go. I wish he would have been able to because I think he really needs some time away from reality, and I would be able to help him and give him a good time. Oh well, more time to study I guess.

Last night I watched a movie called Stomp Out Loud. It is the group stomp based in new york, and it was so good. They are absolutely amazing and I am so jealous! They are just too good. =D

Well that is all for now. I will talk to you later!
Love, Laura! <3

Auditions soon...

2008-01-10T21:33:00.000-07:00

Oh. My. God. I am so scared. I have the 'audition' for the new school tomorrow. I am going to the band teacher and am going to play a couple pieces for him, and probably sight read a bit. This is on my flute by the way. So I am so nervous. I don't even really know why, I know I'll be accepted. I just haven't ever auditioned for something like this before. So I am really nervous. And I think I'm going to kick my mom out of the room for the part where I play. It will just make my life a whole lot easier seeing as she used to be a flute player, and even now cant help but criticise me at every chance she gets. At least I know he wont be as demanding as my mom. And if she isn't in the room then I wont have to be thinking that she is critiquing me as I play. It will actually take a lot of pressure off, not that she would understand that.

But yeah, so as for an update on my boring, casual life, it isn't so boring and casual anymore. Yesterday this guy asked me on a date that I haven't ever talked to before. He happens to be one of the guys that are just undateable in my books. He doesn't do any work, even though he is in the academic classes, he always sits there and plays his video games in class and out, doesn't know how to act around anybody -- really bad manners and such, and just plain isn't nice. So needless to say, I was busy last night. And the funny thing is, I actually was. I had dance and was babysitting. So I didn't get to go. But now, seeing as he is in my science class and sits behind a table with a lot of my friends in it, it gets awkward. And the worst part, now he wont stop touching me -- tickling, pinching, pressure point, etc. It is so annoying and it really isn't boosting his 'I want to get to know him' chart. At all.

Also, I just got home from work a little while ago, and it turns out one of my coworkers whom I am very good friends with who left after the summer to go to university came back!! His first day was on Tuesday, but I didn't work until today so I didn't know it. So needless, to say, it was a pretty fun day. We talked and goofed around as usual, and he caught me dancing while shelving some books (Yes, I work at the library) and he just started laughing his butt off. It was great. It turns out he is taking a class for education, hoping to become an elementary teacher. I think that is absolutely awesome. I am so proud of him!

Anyhow...I seem to have a very stiff neck...to the point where many of my friends haven't EVER seen a neck as stiff as mine. So I'm kind of scared. But I blame it on stress. Seeing as I have a lot of that lately, what with finals coming up and auditions, it makes sense. But it really hurts, and I don't like it, so if you have any ideas on how I could stop it, or relax my muscles SOON then that would be much appreciated. Firstly, I thought of a chiropractor. But I don't know who to go to seeing as my old chiro wasn't working for me. Then my mom offered robaxocet or however you spell it. But one doesn't do anything and two knocks me out. So that wont work. Then we thought of a heating pad...which is very hard to do when I had to go to school. So I just got a bunch of massages from loving friends today (THANK YOU ALL!! <3) and that seemed to help relax them a bit, but they are still really sore.

Well, for now this much be goodbye. I need sleep so I can look all perky for the audition. Teehee. My looks will win him over. ;) XD

OK well talk to you all again soon, and remember! I am here for you as much as you are for me. =D

Love, Laura

Past is the worst monster man has created

2008-01-08T21:16:00.000-07:00

In Requiem to the last post, a song that is amazingly true when one is stressed is by Mika called Relax, Take it Easy. It is a really good song, and really has meaning.

But anyway...I think I just made a terrible mistake. I just got back from dance class, I'm in ballet this year, and we were working on our dance for festivals. It was right near the end of class, and the teacher was trying to make us have more energy. Now last year I was in hip hop, different teacher same school, and our teacher told us to act like we were drunk if we had to to get enough energy and enthusiasm. So I said that we should do that in front of the class, even though we are all underage. My teacher kind of freaked out and got all nervous. So now I feel like a total idiot, wishing I could go back in time and take it back. God, am I ever stupid. And the funny thing is, I meant it to be totally innocent, the thing being that I didn't actually think before I spoke. Luckily, that is something I don't have a habit of, but this time it caught me right in the butt. So now what do I do? Hopefully she'll just forget about it and move on, but I don't know...I said it in front of the whole class. =S

The other bad part of that is that over a year ago I had an issue with drinking. I had been hanging out in the wrong crowd for the first time in my life. And it all started when I moved here, two years ago. I had never moved before and had been quite comfortable in the town I was in so as soon as I moved I kind of froze up. I wasn't used to having to make new friends, so it was tough for me. I guess everyone has to go through stuff like that at some point in their lives, but at least I learned a lot from it. So making a long story short, I hung out in the wrong crowd, got involved in things I shouldn't have been involved it EVER, and now I've turned it all around. Really embarrassing time of my life, and something I don't ever really talk about, but I guess there isn't anything I can do about it now. So I just move on. Keep my eyes on the road ahead and focus. It seems to work. So needless to say, as soon as I said that comment in dance class tonight, my past flashed in front of my eyes and I felt guilty as ever.

Moving on to happier thoughts, still related to dance. I have gotten a few friends together, not as many as I'd like to yet, and we are choreographing a dance for fun. It is to the song Missing You by Imogen Heap. I know the song can seem kind of boring, but I love it, and with the dance that I have thought of, it looks amazing. So you have no idea how excited I am for this to take off, and I'm hoping that it will work out. Yeah, so far I've done all the choreography, but its only about a minute into the song.

So today was kind of a blow off at school, nobody really did anything all morning. So in my band class, we didn't do anything, so I read. And I finished my book! I was reading the third in the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer, called Eclipse. It was so good! I almost cried right in front of everybody. But I love the way she writes, and this series is absolutely amazing. I really wont ever be able to find anyone as perfect as Edward now. =D

So lately I've been writing more poetry than usual. I wrote one the other night, and I'm not too sure its that good, but what can you do? So...I was hoping to share it with you all, and feel free to let me know what you think, but please keep the comments positive or constructive criticism. Thanks!

To have a love as unbearable;
Indescribable.
Better then landing on mars,
or diving to the deepest abyss
Better than words or imagination,
could compare.
To have a love that is scornful and
brilliant.
To love to the point of faint;
Death.
That is the love of hearts
true desire.

-Laura Jones, January 6Th 2008

So, that is all for tonight. I may write more later, but I doubt it. So I'll talk to you tomorrow!
See you when the sun is up!
Laura

Stress tends to overwhelm ones soul

2008-01-07T19:47:00.000-07:00

So my dad is really pissing me off. He is absolutely and positively addicted to WoW (World of Warcraft). The sad part is, I bought it for him for Christmas of '06. He hasn't gotten off it since. And its not that I hate that he's on it, its that reality doesn't exist when he is. And you can tell, even when he's busy doing something else, that his mind is always on the game. So my mom is really stressed out right now, for too many reasons to name at the moment, and my dad isn't helping. Yesterday him and I made a deal that I would do the garbage's if he did the dishes, as I cooked. He agreed. Well, the dishes still haven't been done, and they are just growing larger. So this afternoon I told him that if he didn't do them before mom got home then she would probably flip. Well, they still aren't done, and mom has flipped. Lovely family! Thanks dad. So I just don't know what to do.

Here's a warning, if you are addicted to WoW (though if you were you probably wouldn't be reading this right now) then don't ever talk to me. People like that piss me off more than words can explain, and not because they are addicted to a game, but because the game becomes their reality. It isn't healthy and it affects everyone around them more than they will ever realize.

Another thing that is stressing me out, that is probably stressing out many other students right about now, is the semester finals. These exams are in two weeks. And I'm not ready. And I am scared to death, being the attentive, 'More input, must get good grades!', student that I am. So for all of you out there feeling the same thing that I am, just remember not to overload or cram, because that will only lead to not being able to remember. Find activities to relax yourself other than sleep (the minimum that you allow yourself the couple weeks before exams) that don't take too long. For instance, take a fifteen minute break every couple hours and read. Or go browse the computer, or something that is usually a thing you do in your spare time that you enjoy. It seems to really help. Also make sure to eat properly, as it will really help your brain function properly so you will be able to get more done.

Well, it is now time for me to get back to studying, so I'll talk to you later! Good night!
Laura

Oh, the amuzements of life

2008-01-06T20:03:00.000-07:00

So its the last day of Christmas holidays. In a way the holidays will be missed, yet at the same time not. There is almost too much time on my hands when I'm not at school, and plus, at the end of the month I may be switching school to a school for the performing and visual arts, so I'm really excited about that. In order to switch I have to do my exams from semester 1, so this is my chance. I'm also excited to go to school because I get to see all my friends again! And I'm kind of in the mood to work, so this is my chance.

So this school I'm going to is amazing. I'm going to be doing band, dance, and hopefully art of some form. Unfortunately though, for some university courses that I want to take I need a second language so I have been taking Japanese, but this new school doesn't offer it so I have to take french...from the very beginning. So that wont be too fun, but oh well, what can you do?

I am kind of proud of myself. =D Tonight I decided I wanted to cook, and seeing as I live with both parents and work all the time, I don't get to do much of that. So I decided I was going to cook pasta -- from scratch. It actually ended up tasting really good, although it was missing peppers. It was rather simple, but I'm glad I finally got that off my chest. And its the first time I've made anything from scratch without any instructions, so I'm happy. I think I'll try to cook more often, when I'm not trying to balance babysitting, job, school, dance, and all my other hobbies.

So I have become absolutely obsessed with One Tree Hill. I just love how they have the characters have talents, because in real life people have a lot of talents that they don't necessarily tell people about.

Changing subject for a moment, to love. Love is such a complicated matter when it really doesn't have to be. People simply need to figure out what it is that they are looking for and go for it. Unfortunately by doing that people get their hearts broken many times over. For instance, I am in love with someone I have known my whole life. That will never change. But there are a couple people who are in love with me...and I don't know how to tell them without crushing them.

You know what I don't understand? Why people are so in love with DRAMA. In regular life I mean, many people create drama for themselves without even realizing it. It drives me crazy, and for someone like myself who is trying to stay away from it, it is very challenging.

But anyway, I have to go clean my bathroom, sort through EVERYTHING in my room, which is a lot of stuff, and clean my room. Oh and I may want to look through some of my text books so I know what I'm doing tomorrow. So I will write again as soon as I get the chance. It will be a busy week though, as I am babysitting Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, working Thursday, and probably studying and sleeping Friday. So I will do what I can to get on, but I cant promise anything.

Talk to you when the stress falls!
Laura

Rockin '08

2008-01-05T20:31:00.000-07:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

So I am very excited for this new year. It is definitely time for a new start, what with relatives in the hospital, me in the hospital, trying to find new friends, going into high school, having just overall a rough and stressful time. So I have a few things in mind for the new year. I am hopefully going into a new school that is for the performing and visual arts; how exciting!! I am painting my room and styling it differently, making lots of new friends, and my new years resolution. I dont know if you guys like making NYR's, but I always do. So I really like mine this year, I think its the best so far that I have made. It is to remember who I am and stay true to that. After the past couple years, this is really needed. So, whats your NYR? I am really interested in hearing them if you want to tell!

So I seem to have an issue. It seems that I push people away. Especially those that I really dont want to. And I dont know why. There seems to be only one person that has stuck with me throught the years, and personally, I'm kind of shocked. I love her for it, and so many more reasons. But yes, so that has been bugging me.

But back to the room. I have a few things I am hoping to do. I am going to use this Dark red wallpaper for the bottom half of the wall. Then a black strip, then either white or tan on the top. The trim of the room will also be black, some furniture being black as well, but most furniture being wood seeing as thats all I have for now. I am looking for some pictures to put up that would work with it...but I dont now what to put. I'm thinking black and white or something with red. I'm really excited for this, so if you have any ideas or input please let me know! I would like all the ideas I could get! So...second semester is coming up soon...meaning exams...yay for exams! lol I'm so kidding. But wow, this is exciting. All our lives are on hold so we can study study study. Woopdidoo lol. Well I just thought I'd give you all a little update on my life, and wish you all a happy new year. And I'm sorry for not saying merry christmas!!

Love,Laura!!